Pause Your Life For A Year

How long can you hold your breath; forty seconds or maybe a minute? How long can you put your life on hold and do shallow breathing while you wait for the right time to restart EVERYTHING, then give it a try only to fall back two steps?

It's really not my story to tell, but it is a story we have been witness to for the last three hundred and sixty five days. We have watched our "baby girl" (that title will never change no matter what the age) go through some unfathomable life events. The kinds of things that are not supposed to happen to vibrant young people. Surviving a long history of broken or sprained ankles, broken fingers, bouts of flu or even herniated discs is not preparation enough.

The life changing kinds of things that make us rehash every day of our lives as parents to find answers to How, Why and What did we do wrong type of questions. Only to discover that there is no comfort in any of the possibilities. What you are left with is "This is where we are, we are fortunate it was discovered now and this is where we go."

"The Sanctuary" contemplation pool at H. Lee Moffitt Cancer Center, Tampa, Florida.

As much as a father or mother may wish to bear the burden or be able to make it go away with a kiss and soothing words, it is not possible. So we place our trust and faith in new people we meet, hoping they have all the necessary tools, skills and interest to guide us through. We hope and we pray.

Learning new medical terminology, trying to ask the right questions, providing moral support and being vigilant guardians is all that remains for us to feel like we can make a difference as parents. Yet there is still a constant wave of reality that flows all around. Reminding us of our limitations and human frailties. And we watch.

We often watch with awe and amazement as our girl winds her way through what has become a web of challenges, with a sense of calm and purpose. She has not allowed room for dispair or self-pity to take charge of her life. She has been absolutely solid in her belief that this is all part of God's plan for her. The strength of her faith has been unyielding and provided her with a sense of direction to persevere.

We have always been extremely proud of her as a person and of her accomplishments. She has always stood out as a young person with an "old soul", with wisdom and understanding beyond her years. Until now the challenges were social or physical. Familiar things intended to build and shape character like playing on sports teams or going off to college. In every way she has survived and thrived.

The events of this last year have taken "challenge" to an unfamiliar level and yet in the midst of it all her sense of self and faith in God have continued to carry her through and become stronger. There is no quit in this kid.

She is our hero.